Have you ever been in a situation like this? Deciding to “move on” or not? Please review and comment on today’s entry: “Moving on – a discussion with a mentor.”
Eliz: Mark would you have just a few minutes for something important? This is confidential and sensitive and I really have to ask for your personal trust – do I have that?
Mark: Yes of course.
Eliz: Well I think I have come to a conclusion about my career but would appreciate your insights. Career decisions seem sometimes more confusing than decisions about health or marriage! I really think that it is time for me to move on.
Mark: Let me ask you – are you moving away from something or are you moving to something?
Eliz: What do you mean?
Mark: Things are not working here or your destiny lies elsewhere?
Eliz: The need for something new; the frustration of the current structure and a boss that’s seems to be occupied with a personal agenda; the lack of apparent openings internally and the occasional call from a headhunter. There are always options and a few specific ones – but I want you to help me with my thinking not so much my decision – that I have to make myself.
Mark: Ok – Think of a time when you made a great decision….. Ok u can remember? Tell me about it…
Eliz: Well I was confused about business or law as a first degree. I had been through months of contemplation together with frequent conversation with various people. I knew I would have a good enough graded to get into both. But the moment I think the decision became clear was when I thought about what it was that I really need from an education , which was thinking skills and some confidence that I can overcome a struggle. So I did law.
Mark: How did you feel having made the decision?
Eliz: I was terrified and for most of the first 2 years spent time in regret. It was boring and at times and I thought it was just not worthwhile. The guys in business seemed to be already doing stuff and going places. They were investing and they were talking of start ups and I was deep in issues of precedent and contractual law that just seemed so far away from what I would ultimately do.
Mark: So what changed? ?
Eliz: I stuck at it – partially because of my stubbornness and partially because my parents wouldn’t support a change. Within 12 months of graduation I knew that I had made a correct decision. Job offers into business seemed to flow and I noticed that the way I looked at new problems at work were often different to my peers who had studied other things
Mark: So some initial pain paid off and the original thinking proved right.
Eliz: Yes but how does that help me now?
Mark: We need to retry and figure out what elements of that decision-making you can transport to your current situations. What mattered? What did you get right that was core to your process of decision making that works for you. Your past success may be the best place to start when thinking about your future success.
Eliz: Such as my stubbornness and the instructions or should I say “orders” from my parents?
Mark: Perhaps? Moving away from something is always that – you escape but you don’t necessary engage somewhere else. There are times to move – when relationships or the environment is totally dysfunctional and it is damaging our existence. But there are times to stay, as coping through adversity is the core to personal learning and ongoing corporate resiliency
Eliz: So having made a decision stick to it.?
Mark: Revisit the decision. It sounds like you had a good sense about what was right for you? An intuitive sense that was further clarified by considerable thought and analysis and supported by third party opinion that you trust.
Eliz: So how can I apply this to the current situation?
Mark: Lets examine what could go wrong in your current situation and how that will really affect you. AND whether you are willing and able to turn the current situation to your own advantage.
Eliz: When you say what could go wrong – do you mean could I get fired?
Mark: That – but equally where is the company and your business unit heading? Is the business really at risk? Are you really at risk? Remember there will always be some disagreements but are there fundamental flaws that will really affect you and indeed others? And what could be the benefits to you of treating this as a turn around situation? What is the upside of staying put?
Eliz: Great – thanks, I will think more about that rather than just about the personal issues…
